Marriage, Sex and Sex Toys… To use or not to use.

God is not a kill joy when it comes to pleasures. He ochestrated the idea in the first place. From his grand design in the garden, we do not see a God who is unintentional about creation and the thrills we were to get out of life . I thought to establish that first in case you think this is a post that knocks pleasures that come with the depth of sexual intimacy. So let’s toss that thought far away.

In a time where standards have been reduced to Personal opinions ; a time where standards are now based on trending thoughts regardless of their foundations, it no longer leaves us slacked jawed when Christians become argumentative and passionately fight and challenge the thoughts and ordained patterns of our God.

To live from a place of saftey and accuracy, we must go back to foundations…to the place where we ask ourselves, what was and what is God’s grand design regarding an issue .

God formed man and woman and crafted our bodies intricately, delicately, specifically for our pleasure. The flow of juices from a woman’s body that becomes the pool upon which the man glides into depths of ecstasy deep inside her was designed by God to be so. Don’t Tell me He didn’t plan for us to be immersed in the passionate thrill of sex by this thrilling mechanism he set in place by Himself. But then, He designed this to be shared within the boundaries of the married union. His original intent should be your consideration before you slide that dildo, masturbator and doll off the shelf into your shopping cart.

First, we were designed by God to connect with our spouses and not with some battery powered device. It destroys sex on so many levels and further poisons the pure cisterns of Bliss we were made to drink from.

Sexual intimacy is designed by God to be experienced spiritually, physically and emotionally. You must be married to experience it spiritually. Physically, your bodies must be in contact to experience that connection. Your response that follows the physical contact gives rise to your emotional connection during love making. That’s why God’s word is replete with decrying sex outside of marriage. If a vibrating object begins to give you the highs your husband or wife was meant to give you, you lose the essence of the connection at the three realms.

The world is filled with distortions, nicely packed and sadly endorsed by Christians who are increasingly more and more poised to explain away everything that God holds dear.

God says it’s Adam and Eve but distortion says it’s Adam and Steve or Anna and Eve

God says let her breasts satisfy you distortion says, a fully charged device does it for me.

The devil is bent on distorting every good thing God intended for us and his eyes are strongly fixed on marriage. If he can corrupt the cisterns from which we drink then he has us where he wants us.

Let’s flip the pages back to the book that should guide our lives even if sadly the Bible falls way below the list in the things that guide us these days. God’s original thoughts have been replaced with the “In my opinion” approach. That is why this is not an attempt to sell my opinion or an opinion that is at variance with God’s. His opinion remains the all time truth and no matter how long a lie has been in office, it can’t become truth.

So let’s flip through some Bible Passages:

” And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
Genesis 2:25 KJV

The opposite of shame is pride.  This means they were comfortable in their own skin. They cherished and accepted eachother. They had no need of may external factor to feel better or to kick off a high that was independent of eachother.

Dear darlings, your bodies are enough.

Kiss me tenderly! Your love is better than wine,
Song of Songs 1:2 CEVDCI

Did you see that?! Wine intoxicates and gives you a feel good feeling but it is put side by side with the thrills of a real kiss and the kiss is preferred. Just like the sex toys intoxicate but see, nothing should replace the real deal. Your kisses are the option. The tender kisses you share are the original design.

My son, share your love with your wife alone. Drink from her well of pleasure and from no other. Why would you have sex with a stranger or with anyone other than her? Reserve this pleasure for you and her alone and not with another. Your sex life will be blessed as you take joy and pleasure in the wife of your youth. Let her breasts be your satisfaction, and let her embrace intoxicate you at all times. Be continually delighted and ravished with her love!
Proverbs 5:15‭-‬19 TPT

Again we see here that the pleasures of sex are reserved for the man and the wife . The sex toys, fits into the category of “stranger” here. Her breast should satisfy not a toy, not a makeshift euphoric alternative.

But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2 NIV

If this scripture isn’t clear enough, nothing else will. Sexual relations should be between the husband and his wife. No third parties. No substitutes. No battery operated plastics that mimic the natural sex tools God graciously gifted us.

God created man and woman and didn’t say “oh my days, these two are good but not that good .hmmm…let’s see, We might need a Dildo to help them become very good.” He saw that they were very good.

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Genesis 1:31 KJV

He saw that his body was enough, her body was enough, (Allow me to be very direct here. It’s about time the true picture became clear! He saw that the penis  was good enough for the woman’s pleasure. Her clitoris was the perfect key for deep pleasure , it was the man’s key to fountains of ecstasy. Her vagina was good enough but you know the devil, distortion of original intents is what he does; all he does.

Your bodies and not a dildo were designed to intoxicate you. When was the last time you explored your bodies? Slowly, deliberately, with the intent to give. If all you do is use a vibrator, you have reduced the act of sex to taking and love is a giver! When it gets to the place where all it does is take, it has ceased to be love.

Replacing the thrills we both could get from eachother with sex toys helps to extend the tenancy agreement of resentment in our homes. Gradually one slips into the place where offenses are no longer resolved. Then you begin to say, “Who needs peace when I’ve got a piece of vibrating plastic at my beck and call?”

Or “Who needs her anyway when I can get me a quick charge from an inanimate device?” This becomes the mindset that sponsors the grand agenda of distorting God’s original design.

Slowly the defence and united front required for the success of marriage is done away with. We must realise that having sex God’s way brings us into an agreement that beats the human realm of life. When we lose that depth of agreement, our walking together is diminished.

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3:3 KJV

Does God want us to knock this tool that has “thrilled” you and leave you high and dry? Not in the least bit. I totally get that sex became boring for some which turned them in the direction of sex toys.This boredom creeped in because of the hit and run approach that many adopt. While quickies have their place and can actually create a heightened sense of pleasure (because of how naughty they can feel😁🥰😍), they should not replace the full blown, sexual experience.

Now let’s dive deeper and talk about how your sexual intimacy can become waters that’s truly intoxicate. When non alcoholic substance like water now gets you tipsy, you had better pay attention to that kind of water. So follow me:

1. Do lubricants stay out of the doors too?

By all means enjoy your bodies. It’s okay to use lubricants because it enhances how you experience eachother…note the difference, the focus is still your bodies, together, you pleasuring him, him pleasuring you. Not a third party! When we just got married, there was little we knew about the “first” . I was a virgin and was technically one for 3 weeks after the wedding until we decided to pray about the difficulty we encountered. There and then the holy Spirit spoke to our hearts. “Apply olive oil generously.” Huh? But yes we did and the rest is history!

So use a lubricant when situations like that warrant it but after reading the next points below, I doubt you’d be needing one because they are tips that can fully unlock your streams of juices locked up inside you.

2. Create your own garden of Eden moments in your bed room. See a movie, sit and talk or engage in any activity of your choice (activities with minimal physical contact) without clothes on. Tease eachother till you can’t wait to get your hands on eachother. The aim is to try and finish the movie without doing anything. It’s to slowly set yourselves up for a thrilling experience when you finally dive into eachother. That bedroom door had better have a secure lock! You don’t want the little ones barging in!

3. Get a candy kiss! Slow the pace of a kiss down to the life span of your favourite candy. Have you or your husband toss the candy into their mouth and get kissing. Pass it on from one mouth to the other as you kiss. Don’t stop till the candy is completely desolved. This is called kissing till you drip! Kissing till it’s rock hard. You will be screaming with pleasure when he gets a hold of your key and unlocks the doors of the next level of pleasure. He will be moaning in delight when you mount him and give him a cow girl ride. PS .. All the same, beds don’t break in real life. That only happens in those movies(which I don’t watch o. I heard it described that way), except of course your bed had been in need of a replacement.

4. Get a good flavoured and tasty body sprinkle! (Please with a good bath o) .Lick away to bliss as you explore your bodies slowly. Now let me explain; these are sweet and edible substances available for sale for this purpose. You are also at liberty to improvise.  Nutri C in it’s dry state will do. The idea is to pleasure each other while enjoying the process. It will be an explosion for you two when the curtains of your temple part to let in your husband into the inner courts of your soul! Do well to grab a shower when done. You don’t want ants trailing you!

5. One last one that may not sound steamy but definitely unlocks the doors to a rush of steam: Be kind to eachother. Be thoughtful. Be respectful. Compliment your husband. Commend something he did during the day. Give your wife a helping hand even if she doesn’t ask. Fill in for her. Help out with the children while she takes a nap. Don’t be rude and unkind all day to eachother and expect to have any lick of heat in the bedroom, couch or kitchen counter (please not the rickety kind!). Kindness and sensitivity is one huge turn on that many ignore. This accounts for why a sex toy becomes an appealing option.

You see what bothers me in all of this, teachings on sexual intimacy in the Church are still very hushed, skeletal and sketchy. Most of the time, what intending couples get is not in-depth enough so they go into Marriage not fully armed. The World on the contrary is loud and bold about it. The world packages the distorted version of sex and sells it without apologies and guess who buys it? The Christian who has concluded that sex should be sought for outside the Church.

But that is changing. God is raising voices to speak truth about these things. He is turning on the light and dispelling darkness. He is reminding us that He designed the concept of sex and yes, His concept was and is very good.

So choose which you’d rather have, God’s way and original intent or the distortion that is now fighting hard to become the norm.

20 Comments
  • Mosunmola
    Posted July 15, 2020 9:59 am 0Likes

    Woooow. So beautiful ma, I can’t wait to practice those steps with my husband. Please I have a question, is it wrong for married couples to talk about sex on phone which is called ‘sext’ ? My husband is far away and I am not always comfortable when we talk about sex especially after reading an article like this which I always share with him?

    • Pwealth
      Posted July 15, 2020 1:50 pm 0Likes

      I think you should be more concerned about where you are having this conversation and who maybe listening. Or like in the case of sexting, why I will stay away from it is because I don’t want such conversation with my wife on the internet or maybe I mistakenly post such private matters to my church group.

      But then since you said comfortable, I think you should do what you are comfortable with but if you choose to explore do so with caution.

      Did I mention this article is superb! Thank you ma for sharing I am looking forward to catching my wife after this week long fasting and prayer. 😄😆🤣

      • Admin Admin
        Posted July 16, 2020 1:27 pm 0Likes

        Thank you for your response to Mosunmola. And please catch your wife well after the fast😄. Pastor Francis will be very super excited to welcome another grand baby in 9 months time 💃💃🏃

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:30 pm 0Likes

      I’m thankful to God that you find this helpful! May you keepmbasking in the bliss of matrimony.

      To your question…You have already identified something key…you are uncomfortable with it so talk it over with your husband and let him know you don’t feel good about it. I will respond I’m detail to you via voice note on WhatsApp shortly.

  • Benita
    Posted July 15, 2020 11:37 am 0Likes

    So inspired thank you very much ma.

  • Victoria
    Posted July 15, 2020 2:14 pm 0Likes

    Wow! This is very well detailed and truthfully spoken. This is awesome.

  • ChiEva
    Posted July 15, 2020 2:15 pm 0Likes

    Thank you so much Ma for these revealing insights. Thank you for your writeups always inspiring. God bless you more as you bless us always with the richness of you.

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:25 pm 0Likes

      You’re welcome dear. All of the thanks to God. He was the one who slapped me out of my sleep at night to write this o. I never planned to write it at all.

      Amen! God bless you too

  • Sylvia
    Posted July 16, 2020 1:46 am 0Likes

    I am grateful to God i read this

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:24 pm 0Likes

      Thank God! I’m so grateful to God that this was a blessing to you.

  • Sylvia
    Posted July 16, 2020 1:48 am 0Likes

    How do i share this please

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:23 pm 0Likes

      You can share the link from my Facebook page. Search for Emike Suzan Anthony Osumah, send me a request and as soon as I accept, you will be able to share the post. It’s on my Facebook timeline

  • Dennis Aiguedowan
    Posted July 16, 2020 2:08 am 0Likes

    I think this is an expose and definitely a piece Christians who think about or have questions about sex should read. There’s so much out there about “sex” that if a Christian doesn’t know it,he or she may also start to fancy the “distortions”. This is really nice work and I REALLY appreciate it. I particularly like the fact that the piece doesn’t mount pressure on the PLEASURE in sex,like some old Christians had done before. Of course godly PLEASURE…

    More please. 😊

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:22 pm 0Likes

      Thank you so much for your feedback and kind words! I give thanks to God for His light in this matter that has been shrouded in darkness for too long.

  • Joy
    Posted July 16, 2020 10:41 am 0Likes

    Hmmm.Now, I feel like get married already .I believe a practical would help me understand better

    • Admin Admin
      Posted July 16, 2020 1:21 pm 0Likes

      Lol! Not to worry sis, just stash this away in a safe corner until the big day and when it comes. You will be ready to put this knowledge to good use!

  • Linda
    Posted July 31, 2020 5:18 am 0Likes

    God inspires, Meekay writes! Thanks for an expository read. Meanwhile, all this talk is making me want to to cuddle with hubby. I’ll leave it at that! Lol!

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